Try this the next time you stumble

We’ve all been there: You’re ready to fully leap into your brain health wellness plan and things go along great for a few days, maybe even weeks. Then — sometimes due to an unexpected event, stress or someone in your family showing up at the door with a platter of cupcakes — you not only fall off the wagon, but you fall hard.

In these types of incidents — and we all have them from time to time — most of us make the mistake of trying to get back on track by analyzing what went wrong. The truth is, it’s quite easy to point out the mistakes, but it’s much more difficult to come up with solutions to fix the problem. More about that in a minute.

Let me give you a for-instance scenario: You’re at work and everything that could go wrong does. Now, picture everyone coming together to do triage on the problem. The discussion typically begins with rehashing every wrong thing that was done to create the problem. This reaction/mindset leaves you struggling with the problem over and over rather than being able to move forward.

Get the picture?

These stereotypical responses to things gone wrong also can be disastrous when it comes to your brain health. After all, what’s the typical result of replaying the scenario in your head over and over after you have a bad day, whatever you equate with a bad day. (Hint: You wind up with little to nothing gained.)

I’ve previously written about the importance of mindset and how negative thoughts can influence your behavior and impact your progress. A negative mindset many times also gives you permission to fail if you continue to focus on, “I’ll never be able to do that.”

I’m not suggesting that there should never be an analysis of what went wrong. Dissecting what happened after the fact can provide good insights into what ultimately led to the problem. What I am suggesting is that you take a different approach (change your mindset) by starting with what went well.

In this scenario, you will be able to see some of the things you were successful at — which, in turn, can help you look at ways to duplicate that behavior moving forward. You will even recognize some of your signature character strengths — i.e., things like courage, bravery, wisdom, love, kindness, persistence, etc. — that you can use in the future to help you make better decisions.

B.J. Fogg, author of “Tiny Habits,” explains it this way: “Cultivating habits — good or bad — is a lot like cultivating a garden. Think of it this way: You could stand on your back porch and wish that your scraggly yard would somehow become beautiful. As the weeks go by, weeds begin to grow. You pull out a few here and there, but this becomes laborious, so you stop. But you keep wishing that beautiful garden would grow instead. A much better approach is to design the garden (habits) you want. You identify what vegetables and flowers you’d love to have in your garden (motivation), you choose plants you can easily support (ability), and you consider which spot in the yard is best for each plant (finding a place in your routine).

“It takes a bit of planning and care in the beginning to get those delicate little sprouts up and out of the ground, but you’ve made sure the roots are strong by celebrating your tiny successes. Soon it’s time to let your rooted habits do their natural thing: grow stronger.”

So, then, how does this concept of mindset tie into your overall wellness? By understanding, adapting and shifting your mindset, you not only can improve your health, but you also can decrease your stress and become more resilient to challenges.

The good news is that you can work to change your mindset, thanks to your brain’s neuroplasticity, which allows it to be reshaped over time. The first step is to listen for that little voice in your head that tells you that you can’t do something (fixed mindset).

Once you start becoming aware of it, you can begin to reply with a growth mindset approach and remind it that you have the ability to learn. And over time, you’ll find your thoughts focused more on what you can do rather than what you can’t.

So, change your self-talk accordingly and see what a difference it makes in your decision-making, energy and overall health.